when someone says they are proud of you

True - the parent might have spent hours helping the child get their homework done or even completing the childs assignment. You are taking joy in someone else doing good. I dont know that you provided a litmus test, but the article acted as such for me. Please contact info@parentskills.com.au for further information. Family Tree. Basically, its an ambiguous expression. (My answer might surprise you. In this research, children of parents who never said "I'm proud of you" were significantly more likely to contemplate, plan or attempt suicide. No, I am more proud of you, too. All Rights Reserved. I very quickly responded with a snappy, Why? He said because you were up last night with the baby, and went to work, and youre still cleaning this late at night. Um What a shock that I am hardly sleeping, cleaning constantly, working again, taking care of two babies, doing his laundry/dishes/cooking It really rubbed me the wrong way that he was proud of me. Thanks to you, as well for being such a caring and supportive partner. I now understand that its because I dont feel superiority over anyone, and Im perfectly happy with that . I dont think my children have any problem with this because they know, in many other ways, I love them dearly. Well, thats what we are going to share in this post. Its very presumptuous. 12. And, here are the respectful replies to respond with: 1. What does it mean when a guy says he's proud of you? Ive had multiple people tell me theyre proud of me like my parents, grandparents, elders but it just doesnt mean anything to me, I dont have any emotional response from any of them and my response ends up being ok or yup. 25 EPIC Bible Verses About Pride And Humility (Proud Heart) Id have fallen over from shock if I ever heard it from anyone in my family (& still would!). I drove home and when I got home I texted her that I had arrived home safely. 5. They may start to see their parent as being insincere, or even manipulative. 8. A teacher or a mentor can be proud of their student, but you can't really be proud of your peers. Originally Published: March 28, 2018. momcilog/E+/Getty . I cannot understand that and think he is misusing the word. What is the appropriate response when someone says they're proud of you If you had a hand in that success then I think it is ok to say, I am so proud of you as it does imply that the speaker played a part. When we avoid the phrase Im proud of you, we allow our children to be their own person, to grow to their own potential - in a relationship of mutual respect. You would have to know the whole story. Thats something for a parent to say or a parental figurebut only occasionally. They didn't have to do that. I believe you. How to Respond When Someone Makes a Racist Comment 16. On the other hand, my brother has said it to me, and although he did not play a role in my achievement, it still meant something positive to me and it felt good. Congratulations on your graduation, dear son. 10 Ways to Let Your Husband Know You're Proud of Him Express your own feelings of appreciation and gratitude. In fact, whenever I hear this phrase from a colleague, I immediately understand that this person in reality is envious of my achievements and the phrase Im really happy for you in fact means Im very unhappy that its not my achievement, that you and not me is getting the praise/ promotion/ degree/ lottery win, I hate you for that and I wish I was in your place right now. I did like here. And thats enough for me. But I want to let you know that I accept you whether I agree with you or not, and I'm committed to working on our relationship so we both feel . How does it feel when someone says they're proud of you? - Rumie Talents Compliments. Narcissism can be a personality trait and a mental health disorder, and someone can have narcissistic tendencies without being labeled a "narcissist." When you live with narcissistic. 14. It will show your appreciation for their words, it will help to strengthen your relationship, and it will create a positive and constructive environment. You can accomplish anything that you put your mind to. And family can often be proud, but as with most things family, the obligation and bias dull the effect. To be proud of yourself for your success is one thing, for another is to be proud, they had better have seen you come up through the trenches to witness that moment or to have been involved in the process. If youre proud of me, buy me a pizza, then. . The Mindset of the Ambitious Educational Elite, Thinking Clearly about a Persons Substance Amidst Stylistic Differences, On Intentionally Vague, Mystique-Infused Explanations of Talent, Book Notes: Lost & Found by Kathryn Shulz, Mindfulness of Consciousness Meditation Retreat. 15. It makes sense for a mentor or parent to say this, or a friend or other who served in some coaching role. I also told her I had a great time & that she picks up my spirits. Dear! Well, that truly makes my day. The best thing to give to your enemy is forgiveness; to an opponent, tolerance; to a friend, your heart; to your child, a good example; to a father, deference; to your mother, conduct that will make her proud of you; to yourself, respect; to all others, charity. Here subject and object are the same person. Great to hear this. Last Updated on February 28, 2023 by Ketan. Don't disguise it as concern, either. The insiders felt they were all superior to newcomers, no matter what the newcomers backgrounds were. It is a feeling of relief and it was all worth while you bringing them up properly. John decides to replicate his painting (for the reward of praise, not for his own sense of improvement and competence), and looks up at his mother with rapturous expectation. Why I Stopped Saying "I'm Proud of You" - My Give On Things Proverbs 16:18 Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before stumbling. We laughed a lot and re-lived some old memories. I got into a conflice with her sons girlfriend because this young woman was working in a store behind the til and had made a gross error in punching out my cash register amounts on my bill and I had to go and confront her to get a refund as the store owed me about $50 due to her errors. But it had a very positive impact on this one child. I was an ambitious student with a goal to attend university, which my father completely supported. Isnt she elevating herself above me to oversea my behaviors to make sure I was a good little girl? Whatever influence we had on the person, or information we gave the person, what they did with it is their accomplishment not ours. "Be proud of your scars. And why should I stop using this phrase? "I'm proud of you" is often associated with mentor-mentee relationships, something that a teacher or parent might say. That is why a long-term mentor can also feel pride. "I had no idea". Pause, take a deep breath, and remember who you really are. Next course: We hope to run a face to face course beginning in early May, 2023. I do not believe that parents need to say "I'm proud of you" to show their support of, and their emotional connection to, their child. The proud feeling transcends from child to parent. Notify me of follow-up comments by email. We had a really nice time. Do you mean you are also proud of yourself or that you are proud of the other person? I avoid "well done" or "good job" for all the reasons Ive stopped saying "Im proud of you". I am certain that he would be very proud of you, and he would be proud of your decision to reset your life with rehab. Q&A on racism and diversity: How to respond when someone says - EEHealth Refresher workshop for P.E.T. The Psychology of Bragging - Counselling Connection I dislike the phrase entirely, regardless of how we are involved in the individuals life: parent, teacher, mentor, etc. Consider why you so are grateful for this thing or person. Encouraging children and others to be proud of themselves is healthier. When your partner is mad at you, your flirty responses to I hate you will certainly make them laugh. Achieving your goals will help you stay motivated, inspire you to set and achieve more, and increase confidence. Its obviously a powerful word. It means she feels proud for what you've done or achieved. Take the compliment, give her a big hug and a kiss and tell her "I'm proud of myself as well" and "Thank you". Sometimes people use it to appropriate the achievements of others, which is a sad and awful thing. It's important to remember that the power of words goes both ways. Private face-to-face sessions and course not available at this point. However, the other expression Im really happy for you is so overused that it immediately rings the bell of insincerity. Hearing those words can make us feel seen, understood, and appreciated. My boys are all each others fan club and its marvelous. And guess what? Let them know how much better you feel now that you're smokefree. "), Parent: "Im proud that you got all As in your school report/won that tennis trophy", How might you feel as the child? I was damned proud of her for overcoming this setback and told her so. 6. 9. 3. How to accept a compliment (without sounding like a douche) Your friend wants to say "I am proud of you too, my friend". You must be so proud of how you're doing!"). Before you bring your GF home, know- How to tell your parents that you have a girlfriend, now. Aw yeah, yeah, yeah. In the South, people are proud of you if they know you. They note your hard work and dedication and remember the person you were before and admire the person you have become. As in, he's purely attracted to your appearance. Lovers often feel proud when they see their beloved in action. I am here for the same reason. Its just a colloquialism for way to go or awesome sauce or good for you! No one means to be condescending or imply they got you there in some way. Oh.. very good. In other words, I care so much about the other person, that their accomplishment can evoke pride in ME. Thank you so much for this great compliment. But the Bible warns us against a self-centered, egotistical pride that says, "Look at me; look at . My sons grew up together and are spaced two years apart. I, too, rightly believe that I had little to do with my offspring making his way in life in a manner that is worthy, but as parent, conveying I am proud of you, has distinctive and important meaning. I live about 200 miles from the old college & she lives in the same town as the college is located. I guess its an odd word and I stay away from it because I know how sensitive I am to it. Is the childs achievement actually a reflection of their parents achievement? Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. Thats my life goal. The Four Words That Can Protect Your Child's Mental Health, Parenting Behaviours Linked to Suicide Amongst Adolescents, How to let your children know you are proud of them (Very Well Family), First published 28th August, 2014.